The one funny thing about this pregnancy was the due date. It was EXACTLY the same as Atticus'. What's worse was that I knew I got pregnant on the same day. It was like reliving my pregnancy with Atticus in a way. Another boy. Due the same day. Growing the same way. So much deja vu. Only, this time I knew from the beginning... not in denial, and 5 months pregnant before finding out.
However, as the pregnancy progressed, Finn's pregnancy was slightly more complicated than Atticus was. We had a couple scares in the beginning. I had days when I would just bleed for no reason, panic, and rush to the dr's to be checked. Everytime she had me take a couple days off work, and rest. Luckily, nothing bad ever occured. She said I needed to be more careful at work, and said I was obviously doing more than I should.
Everything else went just fine until the Third Trimester. That's when all the additional tests are done to find any other possible complications. This is when I had to do that horrible, high sugar, drink test... "Hey! You're still having horrible morning sickness? Well here, drink this all in 5 min. and then try not to vomit it up. ok?" ...yeah... let me get right on that. I made it through, and got to be the lucky one to do it AGAIN! And that's when she told me I was slightly anemic, and put me on a low dose of an iron supplement. You're sure I have to do this again? Isn't there an easier way?!?! This was probably the absolute worst part of being pregnant. I'll take the strech marks, the leaking boobs, the bloating, the built up pressure in my areas... but that drink... that was pushing the limit!
And then I tested positive for Strep B. This had my Dr and I fairly stressed out, as this meant I HAD to have antibiotics a min of 30 min prior to delivery. Only one problem... Atticus came within 15 min of getting to the hospital... not into a room... like, arriving in the car...She kept pressing me to consider induction so we could make sure Finn got the antibiotics in time. I refused. My baby would come on his own time. He'd probably be early as it was, why would I want to schedule it any earlier? I'd just make sure if I felt anything different, I'd come in and get checked. If there was any chance I was in labor, I'd head to the hospital. That was easy, right?
She put me on "bed rest" at around 35/36 weeks... which really wasn't because she wanted me in bed, but more for the fact that she didn't want me doing my job after that point. Atticus came early as it was, and not to mention how quickly. My job was a min. of 30 min from the hospital, on a GOOD traffic day... yeah, she didn't want me risking it. And honestly, I didn't mind having the extra time to spend with Atticus before he was no longer my only child.That's when it hit me. These were my last days with my ONLY child. The little boy who rocked my world, and showed me that all my childhood dreams of having a child were only shadows of what having a child would actually feel like. I spent the days filling them with painting, playing outside, building block towers, dancing in the kitchen, and just lots of time watching this little boy who had grown up all to quickly. Watching him face the world with no fear. And no comprehension of what was to come.
There was a part of me that was really sad. I know that might be weird to think, but I was. I was depressed. Upset because I was sure I couldn't love my second as much as I loved my first. Disappointed in myself for having such unfair thoughts. Sad for Atticus, because he had no say in the matter. Distraught over the fact that he was too young to really know what was going to happen...His world was going to turn upside down, and no way to really warn him.
And then it happened. October 16th. Oh no, this isn't happening! There is no way! I was cleaning up the last bit of the house, making sure everything was in order. I remember going to the boys' closet to put away a few last minute gifts we had received for Finn. And then my water broke... all I remember is sitting there going "are you serious? like, really? ... they just have to be as close as possible, huh? ... ok then..."
With a sigh, I once again called my grandmother to come get me. Called my husband, who had just left for work. Called my mom, so she could actually make it this time. Text my in-laws and let them know that Finn might just share grandpa's birthday. And then called Slen. Everything had been packed ahead of time. I was ready. I kept waiting for the severe pain that came after Atticus' water broke.... but it never came. This threw me for a loop... those severe contractions never came...
We got to the hospital, and I found my husband. He said he had done the fastest u-turn possible, and sped the whole way there. He never speeds. He never goes a single mile over the speed limit. But he did today. Because he was afraid he wasn't going to make it. Because Atticus was born so quickly. But he made it. Way ahead of us. And way before Finnley ever got close to making his appearance.
We actually had time this go around to check in correctly. My Dr. Had obviously let them know how quickly my last birth had gone, and that I needed antibiotics ASAP. The actually took my husband and I back before they even had a room ready for me. I remember sitting out in the hall, in the wheelchair, while nurses came by and went "so your the infamous, fast birth mother". I remember watching them quickly change sheets, mop floors, and get the baby warmer ready. I remember looking at that little baby bed and letting it sink in. Finn was going to be here soon. I didn't have that chance with Atticus. I didn't have the chance to really look at where I was. I didn't remember the birthing rooms being so nice. But this one was.
We finally got in, I got my antibiotics, and they put the monitors on me. Finn was doing well. They asked about starting an induction because my contractions weren't strong enough yet, and they were concerned about infection because my water had broken a while ago. I talked them into letting me walk the halls, and see if I could get him going.
I remember watching a little "Phineas and Ferb" once we got back from walking around the halls. Waiting to see if I would proceed at all. Finally around 11, I got the "we need to make a decision now... this baby has to start coming, NOW!". I really didn't want pitocin... I didn't want that hard to contractions. I wanted to be in control. I knew I could make it through... but only without pitocin. Soon after the contractions started. Hard and fast. No drugs yet, but they were coming. I remember trying to focus on "Good Luck, Charlie". I don't remember what episode it was, but I remember trying to focus on cute little Charlie.
After about 30 min or so the nurse said the contractions were not doing much. If anything they were wearing me out, but not causing dilatation. They asked if they could give me a med just to relax me. I oked it, as long as it wasn't pitocin.
Then, just as I started screaming for an epidural, and they were telling me it was too late anyways, Finn was ready to come. A couple pushes and he was here. The crying was a welcome sound after the scare I had with Atticus. And then the Nurse laughed and said I only got a little bit of the drugs... not enough to really do anything. She told me it was all me. Me and Finn.
Finn was perfect. All 6 lbs, 12 oz. That's right... same as his brother. And born just about 15 min before they would have shared the same birthday. What a coincidence, right?
I remember holding him, and the love that waved over me. Remember how I thought I couldn't love anyone more than Atticus? Well, I was wrong. I think I grew an extra heart just to hold all the additional love I had for my newest child.
Finnley took right to nursing, and even though we were required to stay in the hospital for a min of 72 hours (due to the strep B) time flew by. We were completely in awe with our newest addition. Luke did spend some one-on-one time with Atticus for his birthday, and brought back some of our gifts so we could celebrate with Atticus.
I also had some friends show up with coloring books and crayons to color with me, and take turns holding Finn. ... and Luke went and got me a cheesecake... because that's all I was craving, and you can't get cheesecake at the hospital.
I enjoyed the couple nights I had to just bond with Finnley, but I was ready to go home and be with Atticus. I was ready to go home and be a family.
...and we did.
...and it just felt like Finn had always been there. And we couldn't imagine it any other way...
*sigh* The End.
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