Breaking The Co-Sleeper

Many times throughout a given lifetime, one can expect to hear the phrase "it's not you, it's me."  The only difference is, in this situation, it is me.  It has ALWAYS BEEN ME.

When we first got pregnant with Atticus, we swore up and down that we would not co-sleep.  Our number one reason being that Luke is such a heavy sleeper.  There was no way he would know where baby was.  However, cold nights in a not so upkept rental house caused us to take baby Atticus into our bed... Where he would thus stay for the next 3 and a half years ...regardless of moving... twice...

Here's the proof:

Atticus - Age: About 3 days

Atticus: Age: About 3 years

So, Co-Sleeping became the norm.  It really came so easily, and felt so natural.  I thought I was so terrible to be sleeping with my baby IN THE BED with me... Atticus' doctors said not to, people I knew thought I was horrible...

"You're going to kill your child!"

No I'm not...

"What if you roll over on him!?!?!"

Trust me.  I'm his mom.  That's not a possiblity.  My body just knows he's there.  Just like my body knows when he's hungry.  Or when he just needs me.  I just know. 

"What if you suffocate him with the blankets?!?!"

Trust me.  Again.  I'm not allowing the blankets anywhere around his face.  I'm watching what I'm doing.  I'm not really sleeping...More like watching him sleep.  But thank you for your interest in my child's safety.

Enter Finnley.  Again, it just came naturally.  We both slept better when we knew the other was literally RIGHT THERE.  I was more scared of him in the basenet where I couldn't feel him breathing than I ever was with him on my chest. 

Co-Sleeping does not work for every family, but it worked wonderfully for us!  It calmed so many fears.  It soothed my kids.  All of us slept better.  There are a million and ten reasons why I chose to co-sleep.  I weighed my options.  Chose what I thought was better for my children. And that was that.  But that isn't really what this blog was meant to be about anyways...

So... what happens when Co-Sleeping is no longer the best choice for the family?  When feet in the face, and punches to the stomach are not really the best environment for a good night's rest?  When the family just out grows the "family bed"?

Well, you start the transition phase.  You place them in their beds... and they find their way into your bed within the first few hours... and you allow them to stay there.... this phase is also known as the "mommy's denial" phase.  Where mommy does not want to believe that her babies are possibly old enough to sleep by themselves and not need her presence EVERY MOMENT OF THEIR LITTLE LIVES anymore.  I like to believe every mommy goes through this... not just me...

At this point you might just give into the thought of "they just aren't ready", and go back to step one. 
However, a few more nights of feet in the face.  Toes up the nose.  And then one punch too many to the "special places" later, you're back to the "they are sooooo ready for their own rooms!"

That's right...

and transitioning the kids to their own beds?  It was not all that big of an ordeal.

... for them...

For me?  THE END OF THE WORLD!

Looking back, they had both out grown co-sleeping a while ago.  Atticus could fall asleep on his own in his bed.  Habit brought him back to ours when he would awake in the middle of the night.  Finnley no longer liked sleeping with us in any way.  He wanted his own pillow.  He wanted his own space.  They didn't need us.  I needed them.

The transition to their beds took one night.  ONE NIGHT! I was all set for a long night of ups and downs.  Trips back to their room.  Crying.  Screaming. Begging...

Nope.

None.

I think Finn came to my room once.  For a bottle of water. Then took my hand, and led me back to HIS bed where HE wanted to be tucked back in.

Atticus and Finnley?  They're already back to feet in every direction.  Sleeping with limbs up on the walls, or hanging off the bed.

 

Someday, I'll get that comfortable again.  For now, I'm still listening in the darkness for little ones who need their momma.  I'm honestly looking forward to sick nights when I can coddle them again.  Have a family bed for another night. 

But there's also a part of me that is enjoying their little hops on the limbs outside of my comfy, cozy nest.

They're going to start taking trial flights any day now...

.... and I'm so ready!